Thursday, August 27, 2009

Day 14- Open thoughts and ramblings of a tired soul

As I sat today in the waiting room of the center, I watched the interactions of an 18 month old little guy and his parent. Ironic after my post this early morning. He is, also, there in the waiting room as his older siblings get treatment. I watch him waddle around, bending, stooping to pick up a ball...with both hands, with ease. He carries it over to his father and utters, "dadada?" questioningly. His dad , totally engrossed in his paperback, ignores his son's attempts at play. I'm sure not on any conscience level, but yet the toddler wonders off to explore another area of the playroom and the father continues to enjoy his "alone time", as all parents need and enjoy.
I sat there, screaming inside. PLAY with your son. Celebrate his ability to control his hands, feet, body! Bask in the glory of his new found skill! Jump up and down and let him know, "Baby Boy, you are an exceptional little creature and YOU want to interact with ME! What a honor for me to be your parent!"
A little over the top, I've always been a bit dramatic, but that is my true feelings during my observation of the two. Did I tell the father this? No. Of course not. Socially unacceptable.
Anytime, in the last 10 years or so that I have been asked my favorite quote, it has been Tennesse Williams, "Life is all just memories except for this one single moment that goes by so fast you can hardly catch it going." Wow, has that quote proven to be outstanding in my life. We all move through life wanting THINGS, wanting our loved ones to have THINGS, wanting our children to be above the norm so that they can prosper and have many THINGS. But, do we take the time to celebrate the moments that they demonstrate something tiny yet, spectacular! I have learned that we have to watch Roa's every move every minute of every day, so that I can celebrate all the little things that show he is gaining strength, reaches for and manipulates an object after patient trial after trial, communicate his desire and interest to us with a determined gaze or gesture. Take the time, people! Celebrate THIS moment right now!

I'm now off the soapbox. I'm not losing it, don't worry... only seeing a bit more clearly and wanting to share my innermost thoughts. Initially, I wanted to start a blog as a sort of diary and a way to share will all instead of the basic emails and phone conversations. Thanks for listening, hope it makes you think a little.

Roa is tired this morning and a bit cranky. The HBOT was long for him and Daddy today. He is sleeping now after a long 1/2 hour attempt to get him down for the nap. I tried our usual nursing to sleep but his eyes kept popping open or he would startle awake. He didn't want to stop nursing as he has grown to use it as a soother. Bryan got him to sleep by walking and holding him tight.
I chatted in length with the chiropractor who also works with the HBOT team. We are going to have Roa adjusted this afternoon as it has been 3 weeks since his last adjustment and it usually helps him to sleep. We pray that this gives him some relief.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there Jen. We are with you - not physically - but thinking about you all day, every day! You may not know it... but you, Bryan, and Roa have already changed many lives. I have had the talk with my sons about the things we take for granted and the silly, trivial things that bother us. YOUR experience has changed ME as a parent, as I am so much more grateful for the gift of health that my sons enjoy, their ability to work hard and play sports. And I feel the guilt of never have appreciated it as I do now. How lucky we are. I feel your pain - as there can be nothing more heart-wrenching than for parents to watch their child in pain or struggling. But you and Bryan are doing everything you can, are sparing no expense, exerting every effort to the point of exhaustion, leaving no stone unturned. It is so awe-inspiring for us to watch you take on this tremendous yoke and bare it with such grace. Being first time parents is hard enough, but you have been dealt a difficult hand to play. You truly are heroes to me. I admire you greatly - only wish I could do more, that I knew more. We pray for your family. And we ache for what’s wrong to be healed. You are lighting the path for many and one only need look into Roa’s eyes to know that he loves you and appreciates all that you are doing for him. You are his angels here on earth – don’t ever forget that! Keep the faith! Hugs, hugs, hugs, Kathy


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