Questions

Will there ever be a time when we get to say, "well, that does it! Enough. Finished. As good as it gets. Over." When it comes to therapies, methods, trials, products, devices, equipment. Will we ever just get to say, "This is it! Answer found. Problems solved."? Some day, will I get to fall asleep thinking of tomorrow with anticipation of a bright new day? Or will it continue to be a clock ticking away, Calendar whipping thru pages. Minutes that count so much when there is only so much time in a day to find that cure? Will I ever watch typical children and not mentally process their every move with awe of God's perfect creations? Muddied by God's little mistakes? Does the guilt go away? The guilt of not being parent enough? Not being wealthy enough? Not being driven enough to find what my child needs? These are questions I have tonight as I gaze out the glass prison window of CP Land White Bear Lake. We are trapped here. With so many doubts. So many fears. So much hurt. And so many questions we will continue to have while other parents get to enter blissful sleep in the land of the Cerebral Strong.