Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Acceptance

This photo is from Roa's last day of Conductive Education. Yes, I wrote last day. It makes me so sad to say but we are discontinuing this part of Roa's weekly routine. Paige, Roa's PCA, resigned. She was PCA number 9 in our life. We are tired of training. Tired of interviewing, asking of they can commit for one year or so, and then receiving a resignation notice. Usually the reason is the work is too much. A few moved on to real world jobs. We hire college girls because they like the experience and work for $10 per hour. If we would go through and agency, we would pay $13-20 per hour. This is an out of pocket cost to us. Plus gas to get to The Plus Center. Plus the cost of the CE session itself.
Everytime we get a new PCA, I have to train her in our home and Ors has to train her at the center. Ors is done training our people. We would have to pay for his staff to assist Roa and that cost would add up fast with gas and session fee.
So, we chose sadly to give up the Conductive session twice a week.
It feels like another door closed. It feels like another hope of mobility shredded. Depressing, yet reality.

We are in the process of trying power chairs and looking at vehicles. Roa enjoys the joystick and is building confidence at school maneuvering around his friends. We are starting to accept that this will be Roa's main mode of movement. We are working with the ARC of MN to apply for TEFRA- the form of MA we pay the county to be on. The middle class curse.

We will continue with therapies- OT, PT, Speech that our insurance covers plus squeeze in horseback riding, aquatics time, and ABM sessions as funds allow. We put a large portion of money given through donations to the upcoming Masguatova Method Camp in July. Praying this method of reflex integration helps Roa find movement on the floor with more ease.
We are discouraged. Grief and acceptance is setting in. But we still try to find the light.
Thank you to the wonderful donations from loving family and friends.
Thank you to my dear friend Karl Wallin for planning and organizing a fundraising concert on May 11 at the Trempealeau Hotel in Wisconsin. The extra donations will help us continue with adaptations to make Roa's life and ours a bit easier.
Most of all, thank you to Christine, Aunt Vick, Lori, grandpa Al, and Daisy for giving Bryan and I respite. Every time you take care of Roa (and Gunnar) so that we can get away for a breather, clean the house, etc.,you are giving us a true gift! You all aid without question and we love you for it.
I recently had a nurse at one of our numerous appointments say, "We never get time away from our kids either". She had typical developing children, age 2 and 4. I held my tongue but wanted to say, " until you cannot leave a room without your non-verbal , non-mobile child crying out to you..... Until you have to spoon feed every bite into that child's mouth.... Until you have to place that child in a sitting position to then, hand over hand play,... Until that time..... You can keep you comment to yourself."

Thank you to those of you who get it.

2 comments:

  1. I just wrote a post about therapy burnout for my daughter (who also has CP). I totally get it. I've said that I wonder where that manual is that says "OK, do this therapy and this one, and don't worry about this one" because I'm always wondering - could we do more? Should we do less? Are we missing something? Oh how I get it - down to what that nurse said and how you felt. Best wishes to you and Roa!

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  2. I saw your blog address from the special needs swap board on FB. My 2 boys have L1 (x-linked hydro). In the past week, I have overheard, or in this case, read, about conductive therapy. What exactly is that, if you don't mind my asking?

    Thanks! Your blog is great :)

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