Monday, March 28, 2011

A Tale of Two Children

Little fingers that open and close around rattles and toys, amaze me. 
A small body twisting at the trunk to look around, puts me in awe.
Head control.  Rapidly kicking feet.  A body that sleeps so easily and sound.

My little Gunnar has given me these experiences as a Momma.  New experiences.  Milestones that come so easily without trial and practice and fight.  That small brain just clicks and processes it all.


I've taken the classes. I've read the books.  I've  even taught a few classes myself to parents about typical development.  But NOTHING is as miraculous as watching your own child reach those goals. I feel such JOY!
 And NOTHING hurts more that watching your child struggle to meet those goals.  I feel such PAIN!

Everyday is a new lesson in joy.  Everyday is a new lesson in grief. 

As I type little Gunnar jumps beside me in his Jump-a-roo.  Reaching and mouthing the toys attached.  He has just awoke from a blissful 2 1/2 hour nap.
  As I type, my Roa, is laying on the couch.  Tired from his two therapy sessions today- one morning OT /one afternoon Speech.  He is not able to nap today. I missed that window of opportunity.  The parental guilt sets in as he watches a video because it is the only thing he can do on his own.  The mommy guilt also because I pray that he drifts to sleep for a while so that I don't have to position him and entertain him more today before Daddy gets home.

Depressing but reality.  Our reality here.

 With some small fingers that grasp and play and others who long desperately to do so.


  1. Awww Jen. (((hugs))
    Typical child development amazes me too, and although i havent had #2 yet i still find it hard to be around typical babys sometimes, those wounds run deep.

  2. Oh, Jennifer, this is both heartbreaking and beautiful. I imagine it is how I'll feel when (and if) we have more kiddos.

  3. I call my little ones Yin and Yang, They complement each other. Its hard but wonderful all at the same time!

  4. For this exact reason I fear having more children, but also am mad that I may never be able to experience the "typical".

    I often wonder if we do so much therapy and know so much medical lingo because it's easier to play nurse/caregiver than it is to be ONLY Mom who feels the all of the emotions...which hurts.

    Love your blog & keep trying with the theratog! Will took a while to get used to his Benik...but now he loves it!


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